This is what you get looking through the eye of a needle.
Here we goo agen, this time it's the right eye, it seems, I was told, when I had them tested for upgrade of me glasses it had a hole in it at the back of the right eye, it was not until I got home the optician rang to say upon close scrutiny of the photo that they take of ya eyes that was what he found. On talking to him, he advised that I should pay a visit to the New Cross eye hospital at Wolverhampton to get it checked out and an appointment was duly made.
The appointment came and a thorough examination was made by the consultant who proceeded to explain in simple terms what was happening. In the back of the eye is a lining which should be smooth and flat, in my case it has started to wrinkle up causing blurred vision, they would need to go in and smooth it out or completely remove it. This I suppose is key hole surgery at its best, explained in simple terms by me as, straightening the hearth rug in the front room through the letter box.
The appointment came the following week to go for surgery in two weeks time and be there at 7.20 am for an appointment that would last for the greater part of that morning. First another inspection of which eye it was to be operated on and a felt tip pen put a big arrow above my right eyebrow, and an identity band put on my wrist, I suspect it was put there incase they had to wheel me to the morgue later on with me not responding to the question "are you all right". I was then walked down the corridor to the operating theatre into the hand of an anaesthetist who positioned me on a plank of wood, or that was what it seemed covered with a white sheet all loaded onto a trolly (Iam elaborating/exaggerating a bit) with me yed stuck out on a twig beyond the end of the trolly, at a nod from the surgeon/operator I was then wheeled in head first through the swinging doors narrowly missing having me ears ripped off (or so it seemed) and positioned under a robot suspended from the ceiling.
At this point I could see bugger all other than the ceiling and the lights and cold air vent, but made close mental notes of the conversations taking place around me. it seems there could have been about five or six personnel as well as the surgeon, who was talking through the setting up of the robot with its very bright narrow beam of light narrowly missing my eye. A gown was produced that had an eye hole in it and around the hole was glue to stick my eye open and make a blood tight seal around my eye so it would not get on my shirt, (at this point I must point out I was was fully clothed with my street shoes on it was only my jacket I had left in a locker) and switched me phone off, (wish now I could have recorded the whole thing in sound if the had been left on), oh and yes they poked an oxygen pipe up onto my chest so I could not suffocate while under that gown.
When the captain/surgeon got hold of the tiller however it was totally different, the beam of light started to close in on my right eye and as it got closer I realised the light was coming from the point of a needle and with his finger and thumb pressed on my eye he said "you will fell a little pressure now" and slowly pushed the needle into my eye, it was uncomfortable but not that painful. A part of the pre-amble that went on was the setting up of the screen on which he was to work from from the camera that is in the needle and all the others possibly students, could follow what he was doing, apparently he had some tools in there to pluck the rug that was wrinkled up in my eye and said he had completely removed it the debris was the pumped out presumably through the needle through a pump that was foot operated the switch positioned under his right foot (accelerator/ brake stile). After half an hour of this plucking he seemed to 'sweep' up the surrounding bit into the pump and heard him ask for a contact lens. I must say that from when the needle first when in my eye I could not see any of the above work being done, it was as tho I had been shut out of my own eye. The operating needle was then removed and the patch/contact lens stitched into place, this stitching being the most painful of the lot making my toes curl up in my shoes, a bit more anesthetic being dropped in every minute or so just to pacify me and keep me still.
A big bun of wadding was plastered on me face and an eye patch and at last I could see all around me from my one remaining eye.
I was very disappointed to realise that the anaesthetist who wheeled me out was not very discrete, in that I was always brought up that you always wheeled a live person head first (as when I came in) and a dead one feet first, and this was how I was wheeled out, so I piped up from a prone state on the trolly are ya wheeling me to the morg as I think I am still alive, giving me sen a good pinch. Upon realising I was still around I reached for me phone and rang for my son in law to be at the front door of the hospital in half an hours time to tek me ome and waited a short while for my medications to handed to me explaining what to do with three lots of drops and how to sleep only on my right side only, probably to stop me eye falling out while asleep.
Next morning I had been instructed to remove all the dressings and bathe the eye with cool boiled water to clean the area and apply the relevant number of drops as prescribed. Once this was all done I could not see through that eye hardly at all other than light and darkness and then could see my own hand when it was up by my chest. Later that first day there was a dark line across the screen/picture so to speak and realise that if I tilted my head to the left or right that dark line stayed level, it was like looking through a pair of swimming goggles with the water trapped in them covering my eye, there must be an air bubble still in my eye, and could visualise that it would be very useful if I were a builder or a plumber to have a built in spirit level, the problem is when I move my head and walk about the water is still swilling about from side to side giving me an unstable gate, the thing is to walk with one eye closed and believe only one eye as to where I am going. No wonder they have told me not to drive (or go on me bike)
Two quotes I have had back I dare not say who from-----------
----Lets look on the bright side, if you loose one eye you still have another one.
----What a good job its raining, at least you won't get any dust in your eye.