Friday, 27 December 2013

I’ve got a Little Breakdown,

Even though I have all but retired, there always seems to be something standing by in my workshop waiting to be repaired or modified.

Right now its the cattle crush, in one of the locations where its used it has to be maneuvered into position with the lifting tractor lifting it from the end. The lifting loops cater for lifting it from the side, both sides, and I wanted a lifting loop from one end, initially we used a short piece of chain for this job, but found it a nuisance when on my own changing from one side to the end.
So I found a piece of round steel and bent it "bucket handle" style and welded it to some angle iron that fitted to the upper frame of the crush, this stays up and prominent and you just fish the front fork of the tractor to hook onto it without having ta leave the tractor seat. 
Well, this loop broke the last time we used it, the steel I had used was from an old iron railing, it must have been hundreds of years old and had found its way into my scrap ruck, as thing do, if ya know what I mean.
It was of very poor low quality steel, and fabricated into iron fencing, the sort used around the school next door, and this school fencing was all fetched down when the school (next door) was modernized. 
Don't know how old the school is, may be hundred and fifty years or so, so this bit of steel broke, ya could see the grain in the cross section that it was not as sound as the modern stuff of today. Result is, its back in the scrap ruck.
I have now found a newer suitable loop of metal to weld back on, so that's the next job after the Christmas break. 
If it can be repaired by a blacksmith, the chances are that I can do it, big ommer and nails mon, that's me. Electric's and anything electrical is a big no no, apart from the surface wiring of an extension to a light in the workshop or a three pin socket, basic stuff like that.  A three way switch, and electric motors I leave them to the bloke who know about such stuff.

This describes my workshop down to a tee. 

I've got a Little Breakdown,

I’ve got a little breakdown and its needs attention now,
Take it to the workshop, to bodge it up somehow,
Need to clear the work bench, with scrap its piled high,
Things that needed mending, I failed but had a try.

Spanners come in sets, they’re spread all round about,
The very one your wanting, one you conner do without,
Spend all morning searching, and you end up with a wrench,
Round the corner off the nut, then find its on the bench.

The metals rusty, flaking off, got it to weld somehow,
Clean the edge and got some gaps, must be done right now,
Spitter spatter stop and start, resembles pigeon siht,
Grind it off and fill the holes, and hope it wunna split.

Drill bits with the edge knocked off, the saw it that hit a nail,
Hammer’s got a headache, and it needs a brand new stale,
Screwdriver hit with hammer, when the chisel conna find,
And the spirit level lost a bubble, ta guess work I’m resigned.

Have a dam good clear up, and throw the rubbish out,
Then look for where you’ve chucked it, that little bit of spout,
Ventualy it all comes back, n’ builds up on the floor,
Praps a bigger workshop, cus I conna shut the door.

I’m really tidy in my mind, but sometimes I forget,
When I’m in a hurry, and black clouds and rain a threat,
Job is done, tools chucked in, the workshop miss the bench,
It happens all the while, but I stick with a big old wrench.

Owd Fred

A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.

Spanish proverb.